Draft diary: the night fourteen grown men forgot how many QBs Superflex starts

2026 SUPERFLEX AUCTION • LEAGUE ID 723314 • $200 CAP • 14 TEAMS

DRAFT DIARY: THE NIGHT FOURTEEN GROWN MEN FORGOT HOW MANY QUARTERBACKS THIS LEAGUE STARTS.

A live Bill Simmons-style diary of the Am I Krumping? salary-cap auction — written as it happened, recapped after the bodies were counted. Superflex. Two quarterbacks. One nomination clock. Zero adult supervision.

By SKIP KRUMP Senior Diarist, Unlicensed League Psychiatrist • Tuesday, September 8, 2026

PREGAME: 6:12 P.M. PDT

I am on the couch with a legal pad, a LaCroix that will be warm in twenty minutes, and the same feeling I used to get before the old ESPN draft shows — like something stupid and important is about to happen and I will not be able to look away. Fourteen teams. Two hundred dollars. Live salary cap. Thirty seconds to nominate, twenty seconds to bid. Head-to-head, two divisions, six-team playoffs in Weeks 15-17. And the thing nobody in this league can be allowed to forget for even one nomination:

"This is Superflex. The lineup has a Q/W/R/T. You can start two quarterbacks every week. Fourteen teams times two starters is twenty-eight QB slots. The NFL does not make twenty-eight good quarterbacks. That is the whole draft."

In 1QB you can shrug and stream. In this room the stream is a dried-up creek. Receptions are worth 0.2. First downs pay. Interceptions are minus-2. A pick-six is minus-4, which is the scoring equivalent of backing over your own mailbox. Quarterbacks who run and throw first downs are the economy. Running backs are still running backs. Wide receivers are slightly less nuclear than in full PPR. If you show up tonight thinking this is a 1QB stars-and-scrubs party, you are going to draft three running backs and Justin Fields. I say that as foreshadowing and also as a threat.

Nomination order: Kittle Corn, Dan's Deepball, King James, My Team Sucks!, Tony's Terrific Team, Ball Don't Lie, EzMoney, DGAD, Ghost of Twomp, Haters Gonna Hate, GolfNut, BNF, 4th and INCHES, Dat's It. Kittle Corn goes first. I have a bad feeling about Kittle Corn.

THE DIARY

6:30 P.M. — WE'RE ON.

The commish hits start. Somebody's mic is hot. Somebody else is already typing in all caps. This is going to be a long Tuesday.

NOMINATION 1 — CHRISTIAN MCCAFFREY, $52, KITTLE CORN

6:31 p.m. CMC is off the board at $52. Reasonable. Tasteful, even. This will not last.

Okay. Fine. CMC at fifty-two is a normal human opening. In Superflex I would have rather seen Josh Allen go first, but I understand the instinct. He's CMC. You do not want to be the guy who lets CMC walk for $44. Kittle Corn just spent a quarter of the cap on a running back and still has $148. They can still build a team. They can still buy a quarterback. I am choosing optimism. It will last approximately four minutes.

NOMINATION 2 — JAHMYR GIBBS, $63, KITTLE CORN

The most expensive player of the night, in a Superflex league, is a running back. I need a second LaCroix.

THERE it is. Sixty-three dollars. Highest salary of the entire auction. Higher than Allen. Higher than Lamar. Higher than Burrow. Kittle Corn just bought Gibbs four minutes after buying CMC and I can hear the rest of the league exhale like somebody opened a window. That is $115 on two running backs and they have not nominated a quarterback. In Superflex that is not aggression. That is a man stacking chips on 00 and asking the dealer if 00 hits more often if you believe.

I texted the group chat a single sentence: "They know we start two QBs, right?" Nobody answered. They were all bidding.

NOMINATIONS 3-5 — PUKA $45 KING JAMES; BIJAN $57 AND CHASE $46, DAN'S DEEPBALL

Puka at $45 to King James. The first nomination that felt like a person who has used a website on purpose.

Bijan at $57. Dan's Deepball is building a monster and I do not know if they have any money left for the monster's friends.

Chase at $46, same buyer. Deepball has Bijan and Chase and I am already doing cap math on a napkin.

Puka to King James at forty-five is the first "I have a plan" nomination of the night. Then Dan's Deepball goes consecutive hammers: Bijan fifty-seven, Chase forty-six. That's $103 on two skill players and we have not seen a quarterback yet. In Superflex I keep waiting for someone to just throw Allen out there and end the suspense. Instead we are in a running-back-and-receiver casino and the quarterbacks are still sitting in the lobby.

NOMINATIONS 6-8 — JSN $43 DGAD; NICO $32 BNF; JONATHAN TAYLOR $46 KITTLE CORN

Nico at $32 to BNF. In a room that just paid $45 for Puka, this is how you quietly win Tuesday.

DGAD gets JSN at forty-three. That's a WR1 without lighting the cap on fire. BNF gets Nico at thirty-two, which I will be talking about in November if Nico is Nico. And then Kittle Corn — who already have CMC and Gibbs — buy Jonathan Taylor for forty-six dollars.

I want you to sit with that. Three running backs. One hundred and sixty-one dollars. Thirty-nine dollars left for two quarterbacks, two starting wideouts, a tight end, a kicker, a defense and six bench spots. They have constructed the best rushing attack in the history of this league and they still have to play Superflex on Sunday. I have seen this movie. It is called The Road. Nobody makes it to the playoffs.

NOMINATION 9 — JOSH ALLEN, $56, DGAD

There he is. The first real Superflex chip. DGAD just bought the right to sleep tonight.

FINALLY. Josh Allen for fifty-six. That is not an overpay. That is the tax. In a 14-team Superflex he is a weekly cheat code — passing, rushing, first downs, the occasional dive into a snowbank in Orchard Park. DGAD already has JSN. They just became the team to beat and it is not even 7:00. If they get a second starter later I am putting them in ink at the top of the napkin.

NOMINATION 10 — COLSTON LOVELAND, $21, HATERS GONNA HATE

A rookie tight end. Tenth nomination of a Superflex auction. I have questions. I also have a theory that Haters Gonna Hate is going to buy every tight end in the building and call it a process. Write it down.

NOMINATIONS 11-13 — ARSB $42 TONY'S; LAMAR $50 GOLFNUT; JEFFERSON $38 4TH AND INCHES

Amon-Ra at $42. Tony's Terrific Team drafts like a person who has a job in the morning.

Lamar at $50. Correct price. GolfNut just paid the Superflex tax and I respect the swing.

Jefferson at $38. In any other league this is a steal. In this league I am already nervous about who throws him the ball.

Tony gets Amon-Ra at forty-two, which is how adults buy wide receivers. GolfNut gets Lamar at fifty, which is how adults buy Superflex QB1s. 4th and INCHES gets Jefferson at thirty-eight, which is a gift, and I whisper a little prayer that they do not pair him with Geno Smith and call it a passing game. (Spoiler: they pair him with Geno Smith and call it a passing game.)

NOMINATIONS 14-17 — LONDON $32 BALL DON'T LIE; SAQUON $37 KING JAMES; BURROW $47 DAN'S DEEPBALL; CEEDEE $37 4TH AND INCHES

Saquon at $37 to King James. Less than Kittle Corn paid for Jonathan Taylor. The market is a lie and I am taking notes for the recap.

Burrow at $47 to Deepball. They already have Bijan and Chase. If they get a second QB this team is a problem.

London at thirty-two is fine. Saquon at thirty-seven next to Puka is how King James becomes a real team. Burrow at forty-seven is Deepball paying the Superflex tax after already stacking two skill stars — I like this more than I liked Gibbs at sixty-three, because Burrow can live in the Q/W/R/T forever. Then 4th and INCHES gets CeeDee at thirty-seven. Jefferson and Lamb. Best receiver room in the league. I am begging them to buy a quarterback. They will not, not really.

NOMINATIONS 18-22 — WADDLE $26; JEANTY $29; COOK $46; HENRY $35; BOWERS $32

Bowers at $32 to Haters, who already have Loveland. The Tight End Cinematic Universe has been greenlit.

Waddle to Dat's It at twenty-six feels like a discount. Jeanty to My Team Sucks! at twenty-nine is the rookie swing I expected from a team that named itself a warning label. James Cook at forty-six to EzMoney is the "I will not leave without a feature back" tax, and it is a lot of feature back. Henry at thirty-five to Ball Don't Lie is King Henry still being King Henry. Then Haters buy Brock Bowers at thirty-two after already buying Loveland at twenty-one. I told you. I told you they were going to do this. They are going to have three tight ends and a manifesto.

NOMINATIONS 23-26 — DANIELS $41 GHOST; HURTS $42 KING JAMES; WALKER $39 AND MAYE $52, MY TEAM SUCKS!

The quarterbacks are arriving in a clump, which is how Superflex auctions are supposed to feel. Jayden Daniels at forty-one to Ghost of Twomp — young, mobile, the format loves him. Hurts at forty-two to King James, who already have Puka and Saquon. That is a Superflex QB1 attached to a real offense. Then My Team Sucks! goes consecutive: Kenneth Walker at thirty-nine (in Kansas City, which still sounds illegal) and Drake Maye at fifty-two.

Maye at fifty-two. Same number as CMC. More than Lamar. In a 1QB league I would be doing a bit about Patriots quarterbacks after Brady. In Superflex I am required to admit this is just what a young QB1 costs after Allen, Lamar and Burrow are gone. The team name is doing some of the work. The spend is not insane. The sequel is Daniel Jones. File that for later.

NOMINATIONS 27-32 — RICE $28; FLOWERS $24; CHASE BROWN $39; MAHOMES $37; JEREMIAH LOVE $28; HAMPTON $36

Rashee Rice at twenty-eight to BNF next to Nico is a very good two-receiver start. Flowers at twenty-four to Ball Don't Lie next to London and Henry is a real skill core. Chase Brown at thirty-nine to Tony's is the second adult running-back price of the night. And then Dan's Deepball — who already have Burrow — buy Patrick Mahomes for thirty-seven dollars.

"Stop. Mahomes at $37 as the second quarterback. That is how you win a Superflex league in December. Deepball now has Burrow, Mahomes, Bijan and Chase. They also have about thirteen dollars left. I am watching a man build a dynasty and a garage sale at the same time."

Jeremiah Love at twenty-eight to DGAD is a rookie back who doesn't sink the cap next to Allen and JSN. Hampton at thirty-six to Ball Don't Lie is the Chargers-feature bet. We are thirty-two nominations in and the board finally looks like a Superflex draft instead of a running-back convention.

THE QB2 RUN — BECAUSE THIS IS THE WHOLE FORMAT

This is the stretch that separates the people who read the settings from the people who drafted like it was 2014. Ghost of Twomp buys Caleb Williams at forty-one to go with Daniels. That is $82 of young dual-threats. Correct swing. Thin skill room, but correct swing. DGAD gets Baker Mayfield at twenty-nine to go with Allen. That is the nomination I had been waiting for since 6:30. Allen and Baker. A real QB1 and a real QB2. Ink.

Haters get Herbert at thirty-nine and Purdy at thirty-four. Two NFL starters. The tight-end thinkpiece now has a quarterback foundation and I hate that I have to respect it. GolfNut gets Kyler at thirty to go with Lamar. Two rushing QBs in a format that pays rushing QBs like royalty. Dat's It gets Jordan Love at thirty-two and later Bo Nix at forty. That is $72 on two starters after the elites were gone. Superflex buy-in, collected in full. Tony's gets Stafford at thirty-five and Rodgers in the flex. Old. Startable. Two of them. In this league that matters more than pretty.

Ball Don't Lie pays Jared Goff forty-one dollars after already having Kirk Cousins at seventeen. Two starters: correct. Goff at forty-one when Baker went for twenty-nine: a bidding war with yourself. BNF rolls Jaxson Dart at thirty-six and C.J. Stroud at twenty-one. Rookie-plus-former-first-overall. I have a calendar and also a little respect. EzMoney lands Trevor Lawrence at thirty-one and Malik Willis as the sequel. That is the first "we kind of punted QB2" of the teams that bothered to buy a QB1.

MEANWHILE, IN THE TEAMS THAT FORGOT

4th and INCHES has Jefferson and Lamb and Trey McBride and then Geno Smith at fifteen and Jacoby Brissett at eight. That is a championship receiving corps attached to a Superflex pair you would stream in a 10-team 1QB. I am staring at the screen like I used to stare at the Celtics when they thought a shooting guard was a defense.

Kittle Corn has Fields. Fields! Plus Minshew, Pickett and Trey Lance, each for a dollar. They spent $161 on CMC, Gibbs and Taylor and left the most important position in the format in a support group. I have run out of metaphors. They drafted a beautiful rushing attack and a bye week that lasts until January.

DOLLAR DAYS AND THE FLEA MARKET

This is the part of an auction where the serious money is gone and the room turns into a garage sale with better lighting. Mike Evans to Dat's It at eight dollars. Travis Kelce to DGAD at three. Tyreek Hill to Deepball at a dollar. Nico already went at thirty-two and now guys who would have been WR2s in a snake are going for lunch money. Evans at eight is the steal of the flex round if he is still Mike Evans. Kelce at three is either a veteran savant move or a tribute album. Deepball is filling out a championship quarterback-and-skill core with Keenan Allen, Xavier Worthy, Jerry Jeudy and the concept of a wide receiver.

Haters add Dalton Kincaid. Of course they do. Three tight ends. A group chat just for the position. Tony's adds Breece Hall at twenty-six — quietly one of the better remaining skill buys — and DK Metcalf in a flex. EzMoney gets A.J. Brown at thirty-five and Olave at twenty-four and George Kittle at TE, which is a real offense if Lawrence cooperates. My Team Sucks! adds Tetairoa McMillan and Jameson Williams and Tucker Kraft and the hope that Jeanty is the guy.

I look up at the clock. It is late. The LaCroix is warm. The napkin has Gibbs $63 circled three times and Fields written next to Kittle Corn with a question mark the size of a helmet.

12: SOMETHING A.M. — IT'S OVER

The last dollar nominations rattle through. Kickers. Defenses. A bunch of $1 wideouts who will be on waivers in Week 3. Somebody takes the Cowboys D. Somebody takes the Titans D. Kittle Corn takes the Titans D. Of course they do. The board is empty. Fourteen rosters exist. Some of them have two quarterbacks. Some of them have a documentary coming.

THE RECAP

Alright. The diary is the night. This is the morning after. Grades, winners, losers, power rankings, the awards, the whole autopsy. If you only scroll to one section because you drafted Fields and you want to see how bad I was, it's this one.

What Tuesday actually was

It was a 14-team Superflex auction in which the most expensive player was a running back, two managers built legitimate two-QB rooms that can win Weeks 15-17, and two other managers treated the Q/W/R/T like a kicker slot. Gibbs at $63 will be the number we remember. Allen at $56 plus Baker at $29 will be the pair we remember. Fields as a QB1 will be the crime we remember.

The format rewarded the managers who paid the quarterback tax and still found a skill core. It punished the managers who stacked running backs like it was a 2012 PPR snake and figured the second quarterback would appear in a vision. Playoffs are six teams, reseeded, Weeks 15-16-17. Trade deadline November 28. FAB all year. Half these rosters are unfinished. That is not a dunk. That is the point of an auction.

The winners

DGAD. Allen $56, JSN $43, Baker $29, Jeremiah Love $28. That is a Superflex champion's skeleton. They understood the assignment at 6:47 p.m. and never got cute.

Dan's Deepball. Burrow and Mahomes next to Bijan and Chase. Highest ceiling in the league. The bench is a fire hazard and a dollar bin. If the four stay upright this team looks like a video game.

King James. Puka, Saquon, Hurts, Nabers, Dak. Two quarterbacks and an actual offense. Dak at $37 is the tax. Paying it was the point.

BNF, quietly. Nico at $32 is the WR value of the night. Rice at $28. Achane. Dart and Stroud is two quarterbacks even if one of them is a rookie. That is how you play the format without a hero spend.

The losers

Kittle Corn. CMC $52, Gibbs $63, Taylor $46. Justin Fields. In a 1QB league this is a fun bet. In Superflex this is how you go 3-11 with the best rushing attack in the room. They nominated first and drafted last.

4th and INCHES. Jefferson and Lamb and McBride and then Geno and Brissett. Aesthetically pleasing. Superflex bankrupt. The receivers will put up 40. The quarterbacks will put up 28. The standings will not care about aesthetics.

EzMoney's QB2. Lawrence plus Willis is how you leave points on the table every week while DGAD is starting Allen and Baker. The skill room is fine. The format does not grade on skill-room curve.

Team grades

Post-draft power rankings

Weighted for Superflex, because this league starts two quarterbacks and pretending otherwise is how you draft Fields. Not scientific. Just the ranking I would send Ryen if Ryen cared about a Yahoo league called Am I Krumping?

The awards

The closing argument

I started the night thinking somebody would throw Allen out there first and set the market like a grown-up. Instead Kittle Corn opened with CMC, doubled down on Gibbs, completed the hat trick with Taylor, and left Fields holding the bag in a league that starts two quarterbacks. That is the diary in one paragraph. Everything else was fallout.

DGAD understood Superflex at nomination nine and confirmed it when Baker went at twenty-nine. Deepball understood it when Mahomes went at thirty-seven next to Burrow. King James understood it when Hurts and Dak were both on the roster before midnight. The rest of the room was on a spectrum from "two aging starters is still two starters" (Tony's) to "Jefferson and Lamb will cover Geno" (they will not) to "we have three running backs and a dream" (the dream is 4-10).

The Gazette will be here on Tuesdays. Week 1 is coming. The trade deadline is November 28. If you drafted Fields, you have eighty-one days to become a different person. If you drafted Allen and Baker, you have eighty-one days to act like you meant it.

"Am I Krumping? After this auction the answer is yes. All of you. Some of you just have Josh Allen and Baker Mayfield, so it will look like dancing."

BOX SCORE OF THE NIGHT

Highest salary: Jahmyr Gibbs $63 (Kittle Corn). First nomination: CMC $52 (Kittle Corn). First real Superflex chip: Josh Allen $56 (DGAD). Best second-QB buy: Mahomes $37 (Dan's Deepball) and Baker $29 (DGAD). Last useful steal: Mike Evans $8 (Dat's It). Worst process: two teams leaving Tuesday with one startable quarterback. Commissioner note: not a cash league, which is the only reason fourteen friendships survive September.

— 30 —

The Krumping Gazette Draft Diary. Written live. Recapped at dawn. Corrections welcome, dignity not returned.