NorCal-Aussie: Dad won, commish lost, and 0.10 decided a bloodbath

NFL NorCal Aussie Family FF — Week 1 final. Head-to-head. Six games.

By SKIP KRUMP
Family-table edition

Week 1 in this league is not all-play. It is six kitchen-table fights. One of them ended by 0.10 points. Another was father vs son. The Turtles lost. The table will not let that go.

Ninja Turtles 156.38, Wheat Hill Weasels 166.84

Josh Allen 35.66 and Olave 23.2 were not enough. The Weasels threw Jahmyr Gibbs 31.1 and D'Andre Swift 31.9 at the same roster and the Titans defense scored a clean zero for them anyway. Swift plus Gibbs is luck with a capital L. Jaylen Waddle 0.7 for the Turtles is the grief. Commish starts 0-1. The Boardwalk dad starts 1-0.

Baldy 114.72, Shough Me the Money 143.16

Assistant commish 1-0. Baldy 0-1. 143 to 115 is not a coin flip. Shough had the points. Baldy did not. Move on before the Down Under table throws a shrimp on the barbie in protest.

Byrobowl 173.54, Scrublys Scrapyard 173.44

One tenth. Byrobowl 173.54, Scrapyard 173.44. Somebody is going to check the kicker. Somebody should. This is the Week 1 game that will still have a group-chat lawsuit in November. 1-0 / 0-1 on a decimal.

The Gamble 137.20, The Substation 146.36

Father vs son, Week 1. Dad won. The Substation 146.36, The Gamble 137.20. The Boardwalk house is undefeated if you only count the dads. The son is 0-1 and has to hear about it at dinner. Roster decision, not a family diagnosis: dad had more points. That is the whole recap of this blood feud until they play again.

Lathrop Raptors 134.92, Sunday Best Phong 159.96

Phong 159.96, Raptors 134.92. Down Under 1-0 in this one. Silicon Valley brother-in-law 0-1. Not close enough to write a poem.

RedPanda 94.02, Block Party Ray 101.26

94 vs 101. Both lineups look like they played in a wind tunnel. Ray 1-0 anyway. RedPanda 0-1. Lowest-scoring fight on the board and still a win for the in-law table. Ugly 1-0 is still 1-0.

Standings snapshot: Weasels, Shough, Byrobowl, Substation, Phong, Ray at 1-0. Turtles, Baldy, Scrapyard, Gamble, Raptors, RedPanda at 0-1.

Source: public Yahoo league 560946, Week 1 finals after Monday Night Football. Draft via Norrin. Human publishes.