Krumpin: Tony drops sixty bucks on a clipboard

The sixty-dollar clipboard

Tuesday's waiver wire closed, and Tony's Terrific Team spent $60 FAAB on Marcus Mariota. A backup quarterback. Sixty dollars. Tony is 0-2, Stafford is the starter, and the most expensive move of the week in Krumpin was buying the man who holds the tablet. If Matt Stafford so much as sneezes funny on Sunday, that's the deal of the year. Until then it's the most expensive insurance policy in the league and the deductible comes out of a winless roster.

The rest of the panic menu: Ghost of Twomp dropped $22 on Case Keenum while sitting at 0-2, which is a bold way to announce the Caleb Williams trust has been downgraded. Ball Don't Lie paid $21 for Tank Bigsby and showed Kendrick Bourne the door. GolfNut snagged Emanuel Wilson for $18 with no drop at all — just straight accumulation, like a squirrel that plans to lose. My Team Sucks! put $10 on Darren Waller and cut the Ravens defense loose to make room.

Kittle Corn spent $15 on Mac Jones, which makes two bench QBs behind Tyler Shough, and honestly after watching Kittle Corn start 0-2 we're not going to mock a plan B. EzMoney paid $2 for Tyson Bagent and dropped kicker Chase McLaughlin — and then left the kicker slot EMPTY in the Week 3 lineup. Sir, the auction was Tuesday. The kicker was RIGHT THERE.

Dan's Deepball went clearance-rack shopping: four bids, none over six bucks (Kalif Raymond $3, Joshua Palmer $3, Spencer Shrader $5, Pat Freiermuth $6) and cleared all four. Respect the thrift. But Dan's Deepball currently has an EMPTY wide receiver slot AND an empty kicker slot for Week 3, so the thrift store haul is sitting in the trunk of the car. King James grabbed the Giants defense for $0, dropped the Bucs, and then... also left his defense slot empty. The wire was free this week, fellas.

Week 3 board

King James (1-1) vs Dan's Deepball (1-1)

Projection battle of the .500 clubs: 132.7 to 102.3, King James favored. Dan's Deepball has Mahomes, Burrow, Bijan and Ja'Marr Chase, but empty WR and K slots are the projection gap. Fill them, Dan.

4th and INCHES (2-0) vs Ghost of Twomp (0-2)

Highest spread of the week: 139.6 vs 81.4. Ghost of Twomp dropped $22 on Keenum and STILL projects to the lowest score in Krumpin. Jeff Jefferson and CeeDee Lamb versus that? 4th and INCHES smells 3-0.

Ball Don't Lie (2-0) vs DGAD (1-1)

DGAD slightly favored 131.6 to 126.4 despite Ball Don't Lie winning the Bigsby auction. Henry, London and MHJ versus Josh Allen, JSN and Kelce. Closest coin-flip on the slate.

BNF (0-2) vs Kittle Corn (0-2)

Somebody's going to 0-3. Kittle Corn projects higher (137.9 to 127.1) behind Kyler, Egbuka and Deebo. BNF counters with Stroud, Achane and Rice. Loser gets a paper bag.

Dat's It (1-1) vs Tony's Terrific Team (0-2)

Tony spent $60 on a backup and projects 131.7 vs Dat's It's 137.1. Stafford, St. Brown and Metcalf against Love, Waddle and Ladd. If Mariota has to play, Tony, we told you so.

EzMoney (1-1) vs Haters Gonna Hate (2-0)

Haters favored 131.2 to 121.4 — and Haters is doing it with Jameis Winston at QB1 after flipping Flacco. EzMoney, seriously, add a kicker.

GolfNut (2-0) vs My Team Sucks! (1-1)

Game of the week: 144.4 vs 142.2. GolfNut's $18 Emanuel Wilson is a depth move; My Team Sucks! spent $10 on Waller as their actual TE2/TE1 move. Lamar vs Maye, CMC vs Jeanty, and two 2-0-adjacent rosters with full lineups. Watch this one.