Krumpin: 4th and INCHES dropped a hundred on a kneeling quarterback
Week 1 waivers: 4th and INCHES won Drew Lock at $100 (next bid $51). EzMoney took Wentz at $31. King James hit the buffet. Week 2 H2H preview. Draft.
I need a minute for the FAB sheet.
Week 1 is in the books. All-play did its thing. Tuesday night the grown-ups opened the envelope, and 4th and INCHES treated Drew Lock like a closing auction at a charity gala. One hundred dollars. Winning bid. The next real number on FAB Offers was Ball Don't Lie at $51, then Kittle Corn at $50, EzMoney at $17, Haters Gonna Hate at $0 because Haters like to be on the list. That is not a bid war. That is a hostage situation where 4th and INCHES brought a duffel bag.
Yahoo has 4th and INCHES at 1-0 and second in the room after Week 1. The photo of Lock is him on a knee. The Seahawks get him this year. The bid is the personality.
The rest of the envelope
EzMoney won Carson Wentz at $31. That one was an actual fight: Kittle Corn $25, Dat's It $5, Ball Don't Lie $3, Haters $0 again. Six bucks over Kittle Corn is not a roast. It is a grown-up winning a quarterback after an 0-1 week. Process. Ugly process. Still process.
Ghost of Twomp paid $16 for Mike Gesicki. My Team Sucks! was in at $5 and lost. Twomp is 0-1 and 13th. Gesicki is not saving a season at 4:11 a.m. He is a TE with a price tag that looks like Twomp had been staring at the waiver list since Sunday and decided dignity was optional.
King James went shopping like the commish tab was a buffet. Four claims, all processed at 4:11 a.m.:
- Chiefs D at $1. Haters $0, EzMoney $0. Awarded to King James.
- Buccaneers D at $2. 4th and INCHES $0, Haters $0, EzMoney $0. Also King James. Yes, 4th bid $0 on a defense and $100 on Drew Lock. The brain is a buffet too.
- Antonio Williams, Washington WR, at $5. EzMoney $0. Nobody else on FAB Offers. That is the desperation special: real FAB, a name the rest of the room did not want, a five-dollar stamp so King James could feel the click.
- David Njoku at $1, Chig Okonkwo to waivers. Not on FAB Offers. No invented runner-up. Just a TE swap on the transactions list.
GolfNut paid $5 for Demarcus Robinson and dumped Calvin Ridley. Not on FAB Offers. Do not applaud a bid nobody else printed.
Ball Don't Lie lost Lock at $51 and settled for Kendrick Bourne at $0, Jonah Coleman to waivers. That is the consolation fruit basket. Kittle Corn lost Lock at $50 and Wentz at $25, then took Devin Singletary off waivers as a free agent and dumped Cade Klubnik. If the plan was “win a quarterback,” the plan is in a ditch. If the plan was “touch grass,” Singletary is grass.
Dan's Deepball did not spend a dollar on the run. Three free-agent adds before the 4:11 bell: DeMario Douglas, Noah Fant, Jack Bech. Jerry Jeudy, Kaleb Johnson, Dylan Sampson (IR) the other way. That is a man rearranging furniture at 3 a.m. and refusing to pay rent.
Week 2, the actual vs lines
Week 1 all-play is over. Yahoo’s Week 2 boxes are the game now. Games have not started. These are Yahoo’s numbers, not a promise.
King James (1-0, 5th) vs GolfNut (0-1, 8th). Yahoo has GolfNut at 143.07 and King James at 126.68. The 0-1 club is the favorite. King James just added four bodies. GolfNut added Robinson for $5. If GolfNut loses this after that projection, the Robinson click becomes a punchline. If King James wins it, the buffet was the point.
4th and INCHES (1-0, 2nd) vs Dat's It (1-0, 4th). 138.98 vs 136.04. A coin with two 1-0 faces. One of those faces just spent $100 on a quarterback who is currently a photograph of a man kneeling. Dat's It did not spend on this run. Quiet is a strategy until it is a funeral.
Ball Don't Lie (0-1, 9th) vs Ghost of Twomp (0-1, 13th). 131.34 vs 131.48. Fourteen hundredths. Twomp has Gesicki at $16. Ball has Bourne at $0 and a $51 scar. This is two clubs that already lost Week 1 trying to decide who gets to keep the participation ribbon.
BNF (1-0, 6th) vs DGAD (1-0, 7th). 138.98 vs 126.80. Yahoo likes BNF. Neither of them showed up on this morning’s FAB Offers sheet. Boring is still legal.
EzMoney (0-1, 10th) vs My Team Sucks! (1-0, 1st). 127.07 vs 137.88. Sucks is the Week 1 points monster. EzMoney just paid $31 for Wentz and still has to line up against the club that scored 170. The Wentz bid was correct process. The matchup is a brick wall with a silly name.
Haters Gonna Hate (1-0, 3rd) vs Tony's Terrific Team (0-1, 14th). Yahoo has Haters at 123.51 and Tony at 133.85. The 1-0 team is the underdog. Haters bid $0 on Lock, Wentz, Chiefs, and Bucs, which is a lot of $0. Tony is last in the standings and still getting the bigger projection. That is either a trap week or a public service announcement.
Kittle Corn (0-1, 11th) vs Dan's Deepball (0-1, 12th). 117.21 vs 123.00. The two lowest Yahoo numbers on the board, both coming off L’s. Kittle Corn’s week started with two lost quarterback bids. Dan’s week started with three free agents and zero dollars. Somebody gets a W. It will not look like competence.
Call
4th and INCHES is the column this week. $100 on Lock is the screenshot. If Lock is a league-winner, we all have to live with it. If Lock is a kneeling postcard, the rest of the room has a new group-chat name for 4th and INCHES, and it is not flattering. Secondary call: King James’ $5 on Antonio Williams with only EzMoney’s $0 behind it is the tell. That is FAB as a fidget toy.
Source: public Yahoo league Am I Krumping? (723314), transactions and FAB Offers plus Week 2 matchup projections, pulled Wednesday 16 Sep 2026 Pacific, after the Tuesday waiver run. Projections are Yahoo’s, not results. Draft via Norrin. Human publishes.
