NorCal-Aussie: Sunday Best served 175 and the family asked for the check
By Skip Krump, Senior Columnist, Unlicensed League Psychiatrist
Sunday Best Phong scored 175.70 and treated the Week 2 family gathering like a private reservation. Ninja Turtles brought Josh Allen’s 40.82, finished at 135.84, and still lost by almost forty. That is not bad hosting. That is inviting someone over and discovering they brought their own scoreboard.
The week also gave us a 2.46-point finish, a father-son result with dinner consequences, and Block Party Ray’s 77.38—an honest number that refused to wear makeup. Three teams are now 2-0. Three are 0-2. The middle six have formed a 1-1 neighborhood association and will begin issuing parking citations shortly.
Six games, twelve chairs, no quiet exits
Sunday Best Phong 175.70, Ninja Turtles 135.84
Sunday Best Phong brought 175.70 to the family table and still had Kirk Cousins’ 21.22 and Tre Tucker’s 20.40 benched. Jaxon Smith-Njigba scored 38.00, Amon-Ra St. Brown 30.70, Patrick Mahomes 28.98 and Christian McCaffrey 20.60. Ninja Turtles received 40.82 from Josh Allen plus 36.40 from Chris Olave and Jaylen Waddle. That is usually enough to feel hopeful. Here it was enough to lose by 39.86 with witnesses.
Lathrop Raptors 143.38, Baldy 97.86
Lathrop Raptors found the Panthers defense at 25.00, Ja’Marr Chase at 23.00 and Drew Lock at 21.40, then let Derrick Henry add 16.20 for emphasis. Baldy’s Jake Ferguson led the counter with 18.30 and Joe Burrow added 16.18. Nobody on Baldy reached 20. This was less a comeback attempt than a strongly worded family email.
Byrobowl || 156.16, RedPanda 121.38
Byrobowl || stacked Matthew Stafford and Jared Goff for 57.76, then collected 30.20 from the Kittle-LaPorta tight-end department. RedPanda had CeeDee Lamb’s 31.30 and Travis Kelce’s 20.60, but Dalton Schultz’s 20.00 and Rashod Bateman’s 18.30 were benched. The correct starters were in the house. They simply watched the loss from better seats.
Shough Me the Money 126.02, The Substation 123.56
The closest game of the week ended at 2.46 points. Tyler Shough scored 22.38, DeVonta Smith 22.70 and Jayden Daniels 14.74 for Shough Me the Money. The Substation countered with James Cook III’s 20.40 and Stefon Diggs’ 19.20, but Evan McPherson’s 12.00 was benched while the active kicker delivered 7.00. A five-point swing in a 2.46-point loss is the kind of arithmetic that follows a team into Tuesday.
The Gamblers Remorse 142.92, Block Party Ray 77.38
The Gamblers Remorse got 35.50 from Davante Adams, 20.80 from Kenneth Walker III, 16.50 from Omarion Hampton and 16.00 from Brandon Aubrey. Block Party Ray got 18.16 from Jalen Hurts and 18.00 from Denzel Boston, then the floor opened. The final margin was 65.54. There was no bad beat here, only a very honest scoreboard.
Scrublys Scrapyard 157.24, Wheat Hill Weasels 136.78
The father-son game went to Scrublys Scrapyard behind Dak Prescott’s 29.76, Jonathan Taylor’s 27.20, Bryce Young’s 24.08 and Dalton Kincaid’s 19.00. Wheat Hill Weasels fought with Brock Purdy’s 28.48 and Jahmyr Gibbs’ 20.30, but 136.78 was the week’s cruelest losing score in this league. Dinner rights belong to Scrublys. The Weasels may request separate seating.
The family table after two weeks
Sunday Best Phong, Byrobowl || and Shough Me the Money are 2-0. Lathrop Raptors, The Gamblers Remorse and Scrublys Scrapyard climbed to 1-1; The Substation, Block Party Ray and Wheat Hill Weasels fell into the same crowded middle. Ninja Turtles, Baldy and RedPanda are 0-2. The records are simple. The explanations will be longer and delivered over several meals.
Skip’s love, hate and family-sized regret
Love: Sunday Best Phong getting four starters above 20 and two more 20-point performances on the bench. That is depth bordering on rude. Also love: Scrublys Scrapyard winning the father-son matchup with 157.24. The family connection matters here because the scoreboard has already reserved its place at dinner.
Hate: The Substation losing by 2.46 with a five-point kicker upgrade on the bench. No complicated theory is required; the decimal places did the bullying. Also hate: RedPanda’s 38.30 combined bench points from Schultz and Bateman while losing by 34.78. The bench did not quite steal the game by itself, but it did leave a detailed confession.
Bold call: Block Party Ray rebounds, mostly because 77.38 is difficult to reproduce without paperwork. The less safe call is that Sunday Best Phong’s roster remains the league’s weekly problem. A lineup that can score 175 while benching forty more points does not need encouragement. It needs zoning restrictions.
Transactions desk
Week 2’s loudest personnel stories happened in the active lineups: Lathrop found 46.40 from the Panthers defense and Drew Lock, Shough Me the Money got 22.38 from the quarterback in the team name, and Scrublys received 27.20 from Jonathan Taylor. The waiver wire now belongs to the three 0-2 teams and anybody who just stared too long at an unused bench score.
The slate is final. Sunday Best Phong owns the week, Shough Me the Money owns the narrow escape, and the middle of the standings owns one very crowded booth.
— 30 —
Standings after Week 2
